You don't know it but-to put it harshly-you make me hate myself.
Only not at all.
Not in the way you might think. Maybe not so literally.
Not even close.
I'm a shadow in your sunshine. Cloud in your rainbow.
The truth is that you are going to leave me.
Some call it paranoia. I call it perspective.
You will either find her-the better friend.
Someone that can understand you, comfort you in a way I lack.
She'll compliment your shine.
You will find him-your coin-operated boy.
He'll fill that need you have.
His heart will add new colours to your rainbow.
In the end you'll turn away from me.
No amount of denial takes away this fear.
It breaks me everyday.
So I hug you tight and keep you close.
No matter how selfish I am you won't me mine forever.
I'm over dramatic. I am.
I believe it. I live it.
You might be wondering what this has to do with you making me hate myself.
Hating myself but not at all.
It's more that I love you, and everything you are.
And it makes me see my faults. They are highlighted next to you.
How selfish am I?
No matter what, however, I am proud of you for being-well-you.
Ignore this, really.
I'll change my mind about half of it in time.
To tell the truth the only constant is my so called paranoia.
So forgive me if I squeeze too tight.